Duty
by Heather

Duty

by Heather

You think you know all about love stories.

Each and every of you can recite dozens.

A man leaves his life...
goes to war...
kills his brother...
his friend...

all for the woman he loves.

Don't you know that those are all made up?

They're trite.

They're also wrong.

I'm going to tell you a story, that isn't a story.

I fell in love with a blacksmith. I was the leader of our people. Great people who had survived famine. Greed. Lust. And War.

Generations of tradition. Generations of Survival.

We had recently even survived the plague that had torn the other great countries to their knees.

I fell in love with a blacksmith, who my country would not let me have.

This is what love is like.

***

We were young. I can see that now. But do not mistake my youth for an excuse. I do not make excuses for what happened between me and my blacksmith. There is no need for excuses. It was love. There is never an excuse for love. Only lust has need for excuses and this was far more than that.

He was everything I had ever wanted to be all wrapped up into a single package. He was simple. Not stupid, do not make that mistake. I mean things were easy for him. Yes, all lives have their hardships and I'm sure I brought him many but I really did believe he had everything. No castles. No advisors. Nobody making decisions for him for "the good of his people." All he had to worry about was his shop and his work. Nobody rested the cares and concerns of a country on his shoulders.

I stumbled into his shop as I was fleeing my responsibilities. Kings have need of fresh air, too. I had used my childhood adventures to escape the castle at the break of dawn and travel down to the market. That day all I wanted was to be Alex for a few hours. Not King Alexander. King Alexander was promised to marry a woman he had never met from a country he had never been to. Alex was just looking for some breakfast.

It had started to rain. But rain isn't really a harsh enough word to describe what the skies did that day. It was a stormy downpour that drenched everything within minutes. I feared becoming ill and stepped into the closest open door to wait out the rain before heading back to the castle. I give thanks to that storm every day that I wake.

The inside of the building was slightly smoky and the waves of heat rolling across the room were almost visible. I could hear the faint clang of a hammer over the pounding of the storm and moved carefully towards the sound, curious as to what I had stepped into. What I found was the only thing that has ever made me want to fall to my knees and give instant thanks to the gods. He was gorgeous. But even that doesn't do him justice. He was standing in front of the fires, working a piece of metal. The heat was causing sweat to run down his arms and chest, which had been left bare. He was about my height, not too short, not too tall. Average yet exquisite. Muscles in his arms were straining as he continued to shape the metal. He had red hair that was bound at the base of his neck and when he turned to look in my direction, I found warmth in his green eyes. He had placed his work into a barrel of water and was walking in my direction when something made him stop in his tracks. Without really knowing it, I had pushed my hood back off my face to keep the water from dripping down. Even when they were slightly damp, the strands of my hair were golden.

"M'lord." He fell to his knees, head lowered.

I frowned and grabbed his shoulders, trying to pull him to his feet. "I am simply Alex for today."

"You are the king, m'lord? Not simply Alex."

"Please. Just Alex. I left behind the Œm'lord' when I left behind my crown. I just ducked in here to wait out the storm. I didn't mean to disturb your work."

"It is an honor to have you here." He brushed soot off a stool and offered it to me.

"Please... just carry on. I don't need any special treatment."

"As you wish." He nodded and went back to his metal work.

I watched him as he shaped and sharpened the chest plate, taking delicate care with each curve. I don't know what it was about him. Maybe it was the care in his work. Or the way he could devote his time to just one task, not having to worry about how working with that metal would affect the other metals surrounding him. There was nothing particular about him. But he was beautiful to me. And I wanted to share in that beauty. To see if some of it would rub off and somehow make my life a bit simpler.

Besides, I was King. And kings could have whatever they wanted... couldn't they?

I suppose you could say I courted my blacksmith over the next few weeks. I would sneak out of the castle as dawn broke and make my way down to his shop. It only took a few days before he would stop bowing upon my entrance. It was a few more before I convinced him to let me have just one kiss. Our relationship wasn't just concerned with the physical. More often than not I would sit and speak with him about his trade while he hammered out another piece of armor or a sword. I remember once he even tried to teach me to make a horseshoe. But that only led to disaster. I knew the constant secrecy of our relationship troubled him, but what was I to do? It was worth it though. We were happy. I would have given anything for him. All he had to do was ask.

He never asked.

It is storming outside right now. I can hear the rain beating at the stones, pounding out a rhythm I can't quite follow. It is fitting that it rains as I remember this. It is probably the rain that makes me remember.

Storms brought us together, and they would be there when we fell apart as well.

Lightning cracked. Thunder roaring in its wake and he had raised his voice to be heard over the storm. "You can't keep doing this!"

I was pacing across the shop, cheeks flushed with anger. I had leaned in to kiss him when rough hands shoved me away. "I can do as I please."

He laughed then. Shaking his head, arms crossing over a bare chest. "No, Alex. You can't."

"I can find a way. I can have the queen the people want and have you. It is you that I want. Shouldn't that matter for something?"

"She arrives tomorrow. You should be at your castle preparing for her. Not here with me."

"I have time. I can make time."

He had turned his back to me then. I could see the muscles in his shoulders bunching as tension pulled them taut. "You are to be married. Just because you are King does not mean you can do as you please. I have no one to answer to. But you? You have a country full of citizens to answer to and they are what should matter to you. Not me. Never me. You are to be married. What king has another man standing by his side?"

I stood there, frozen. Not even the violent cracks of lightning were enough to shake me. Somewhere, I knew that he was right. But I had convinced myself that I could have it all. Maybe I could have had it all. Yet, what could I do?

I left him that day. I walked out into the storm and never looked back. I didn't raise the hood of my cloak. Nor did I lower my head. I had no care for who saw me. I let the rain mix with the tears trailing down my cheeks. A king, after all, has a duty to his people.