Memories Serenade
by Cin

Memories Serenade

by Cin

Severem stood there leaning against the tree, hands behind his back. The rough bark under his palms gave testament to his weary brain that he wasn't one with the nature that stood around him. He smiled at his whimsical thought while opening his eyes and looking at the descending sunlight on the nearly placid lake before him. Every now and then he watched ripples run across the water as fish came up to attempt a nibble on the lucky or unlucky insects that landed there to drink.

Everything around him was covered in gold and mauve as sunset took its place in the clear sky. How he loved to stand out here alone to witness the wonder of the world around him; the birds singing their lullabies, the cicadas waking up and greeting one another, it was so very peaceful. Something he enjoyed and something he needed.

Especially today.

Tonight was to be his first performance as a soloist with the symphony. Tonight he'd let the world hear his cello sing. And sing it would, it would sing as sweetly for everyone else as it did for him.

He'd worked hard for the past two years working toward first chair and tonight it was going to pay off. He loved being a part of the orchestra, loved that his cello sang with others. But to be recognized for itself, that was indeed the pinnacle, what he'd wanted since he'd first seen a symphony and had heard a cello sing to him.

No one really understood his passion for his cello; family had tried to talk him into other instruments, like the piano, the violin, something that was already popular, and something that could be used in more mainstream ways. They'd meant well, but he'd remained steadfast and true to his instrument of choice. It was in his soul and no one would ever take that from him. Sure he'd like nothing better than to be a famous cellist. But they were very few and far between. Still, as long as he was able to play with world class symphonies and have his solos here and there he's be happy for the rest of his life.

But he wasn't just excited and nervous about the performance, his best friend Corbin would be in the audience to watch his triumph. That tipped the scales mightily into the realm of real happiness. He hadn't seen his friend in almost a year.

They'd been best friends since high school. And even though they'd gone to different schools, he to Juilliard, while Corbin had gone to Columbia University, they'd gotten together at least once a month and had kept in touch via phones and the internet. But each had plotted and planned their lives according to their dreams; they'd made a vow never to lose touch with one another.

Back in high school Corbin had been the captain of the basketball team and all star player, he'd been popular and had been surrounded by sycophants as he called them. Everyone had wanted a piece of him if only to enhance their own status. His good looks also didn't help his situation. He was the all American boy, tall, standing at six feet two inches at the age of seventeen and had filled out his lanky frame. His piercing grey eyes only added to his allure and he'd taken to wearing his hair shaggy to his collar and letting his hair fall into his eyes. He also tended to wear a baseball cap as much as possible. Anything to hide his looks a bit.

They'd known each other since junior high, but it wasn't till their junior year that their real friendship blossomed. Severem had always tended to be a loner with his head in the clouds, always hearing music playing, and this left him vulnerable to attacks from others. It hadn't really bothered Severem as his whole world was music and he tended to stick close to the music rooms on campus. He was friends with the other musicians but even there kept to himself. People began to think of him as arrogant or stuck up, which was ludicrous to Severem but it wasn't important enough for him to try to change people's minds.

Severem was also good in English literature and that was how he and Corbin had become the best of friends. They had been paired in class to help the other boy with his work and from there he continued to help Corbin. They found they had more in common than they would have thought. Both loved the same kinds of movies, had the same outlook on life around them and Corbin never once judged Severem on his choice of musical instrument. In fact Corbin became Severem's unofficial champion. Whenever he heard anyone make disparaging comments about his friend he'd tear into the speakers with a single mindedness that he was famous for in his sport.

This of course didn't help Severem's reputation in the least, though it amused him greatly, everyone began to whisper that he had to be gay and that's why he was always hanging around Corbin, who was too nice to push him away. Even though it was always Corbin who invited Severem along, who sought out his smaller friend.

There again Severem's looks didn't help any either. The boy wasn't as tall as Corbin, nor as filled out being much more lankily muscled. Severem's chestnut hair went past his shoulders, but he tended to keep it clubbed at the back of his neck so as not to get in the way of his playing. He had a brooding sort of sensuality in his face, large almond shaped aquamarine eyes that gave the impression of sleepiness. Or as his mother always like to call them, "bedroom" eyes. He had a full lower lip that he tended to suck inward when in concentration, his teeth worrying at it. While his cheekbones were high and his skin was a pale cream. To him his looks meant nothing, and he did nothing to enhance them in anyway. It would have amused him even more to find out that the rumors of his gayness had been started by girls who had tried to catch his attention only to be ignored.

Severem wasn't gay, he wasn't bisexual, he wasn't even heterosexual, and if anything he was asexual according to Corbin. Corbin though had dated all over, but had never been serious in the least. And he'd never flaunted his dates to Severem, as if he'd gone out of his way to make sure that Severem was never hurt by the fact that he dated people.

In high school, of course it'd been girls that he'd dated, but in college he'd experimented with his sexuality or so he'd told Severem. Severem had listened to his friend talk about his flings with a sort of detachment mixed with a dose of curiosity. But his drive and focus was music and his dream and it hadn't left a whole lot left over for romance of any sort. Though sometimes late at night he'd feel like he was missing something.

But he'd find himself getting up and writing long emails to Corbin about his music, his studies, fellow students, and anything else that popped into his mind.

Only recently within the last year had he'd begun to look around at the world and finally have urges.

He smirked at himself, face tilted upward to the sunlight, he was truly a late bloomer, going through puberty it seemed at the age of twenty four. Only recently did he find himself fantasizing sexually, and lately he'd begun to remember the times Corbin had told him about his sexual foibles and put Corbin in his fantasies. It embarrassed him slightly when he'd be talking to Corbin on the phone and a thought would pop up and he'd unconsciously touch himself. He'd quickly move his hand and try to think of other things.

Corbin, a few times had seemed to sense something, asking if everything was okay. Severem would quickly make something up, but he was sure that Corbin didn't believe the excuses.

Still the thought of seeing his friend overrode any sexual fantasies, he was just delighted to see Corbin after so long. Corbin was an architectural engineer and his job kept him travelling quite a bit, while Severem's own job let him travel as well, though not as extensively. It made it hard for them to visit one another with conflicting schedules. But tonight would great; they actually had a full week. Corbin had taken a vacation just to come and visit his friend.

Severem had wanted to pick Corbin up at the airport but his friend's flight wasn't due until two hours before the performance. So they'd opted to have Corbin have a rental car waiting for him and then he'd go to Severem's place, change and then go to the performance. They wouldn't get to speak till the concert was done, but Severem found that the anticipation was coloring all his perceptions. He found himself smiling and he wasn't much of a smiling type of person.

The sun was nearly gone when he walked back toward the concert hall. Whoever had decided to surround the concert hall with a forest and lake had been brilliant. It was one of the reasons that Severem chose this particular symphony. Well, that and the fact that it was the best in the world in his opinion. As he walked back he began to straighten the bow and pull the black vest down on his tuxedo, straightening the imagined wrinkles here and there. Running a hand through his shorter hair, it wasn't as long as it had been in high school, now only past his chin and parted to the right, he then pushed it behind his ears, uncovering one diamond teardrop shaped earring.

Corbin had given him the diamond as a Christmas present the year he'd gotten it pierced. Corbin had said he'd seen it in a shop window in Paris and had thought of him so he'd bought it on a whim. Severem rarely took it off, one because he didn't want to lose it and two because it felt right. In times of stress or heightened emotions he found himself fingering it as if to give himself a boost of calmness, and it seemed to work.

As he walked toward the back entrance there were several of his fellow musicians outside either smoking or just talking. Before a performance the smokers had a field day with their packs of cigarettes while the whole atmosphere was full of a sort of tense anticipation. Everyone handled their nervousness in different ways. Severem liked to go off alone and spend time just enjoying the wind and nature around him. As if to pull himself tightly within, to harness his passions so that when he played it expressed itself through his cello.

When he'd first started with the symphony he'd had a few people follow him much to his chagrin. They'd attempt to chat at him, but he'd put a stop to that explaining that he preferred to be alone. Those that respected him as a musician understood, those that couldn't understand simply thought he was arrogant and conceited. He didn't much care.

He nodded to several, making eye contact with those that he did consider friends. He did note the bewildered looks at his continued smile but as he didn't stop, they couldn't tease or ask him about it. If he'd have looked back he would have seen many eyes both male and female spark with interest. But he was oblivious as usual.

"Are you ready to solo tonight Severem?" He found himself looking at the body attached to the tenor. The conductor, one Radice Moriarity and terror of the podium, stood to the right of the stage overseeing last minute preparations. The man was world famous and the rumor had it that Moriarity had been lured from Europe's finest concert halls with full autonomy with what was performed. Severem had felt honored when he'd been accepted here by this man. And that particular glow had yet to fade.

"Of course sir, I'm looking forward to it." Severem smiled at the older gentleman who always seemed to carry a perpetual smirk on his face, and who also tended to keep his hair like that of Einstein's. The man cultivated an eccentric reputation, one could say thrived on being thought of as strange. Severem thought this was actually wonderful and only hoped that when he was older that he too could be thought of as eccentric.

"Hmmmph... well see that you don't let me down. We have quite the crowd out there tonight, pull this off my boy and fortunes could be made." And with that Mr. Moriarity pivoted on his heel and headed toward the back entrance. Severem watched him go, knowing the man would go out there and have one of his prized Cuban cigars. Moriarity had once long ago smoked the cigars during performances, holding it between his teeth while his arms moved frantically to the pace of the music, but many patrons had complained of the smoke and so he'd had to leave off smoking them. He still kept one between his teeth during performances, though it remained unlit. Many thought it was the old man showing his rebelliousness by keeping it there but Severem suspected that it was more to help him concentrate than anything else.

Severem walked over to the stage and to the soloist area, the chair that would be his was all set up. Running a hand over the back of the chair almost lovingly he smiled as his inward thoughts churned. Tonight would be one of his greatest, not only would he show the world his talent, but Corbin would be there to witness his triumph. Life couldn't get much better.

Turning on his heel, he decided to go and retrieve his cello and prepare.

~*~

Corbin, carrying his overnight bag over his shoulder walked through the airport toward luggage claims thoroughly pissed. Murphy's Law was living and breathing and all for him it seemed. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong, and now he was running behind schedule. He was just glad that they hadn't lost his luggage and that the rental car had already been reserved. Otherwise he'd be very very late. And that wasn't acceptable. Not tonight.

Tonight he was going to watch Severem share his wonderful music with the world. In his eyes Severem was the very best musician there was. The man ate and drank music, and his cello was his lover, something that had made Corbin a bit jealous when they were younger. A hint of a smile graced his lips as he realized that even now he was still a bit jealous of the way Severem revered his cello.

He quickened his pace toward the luggage area nearly groaning at how many people were standing around blocking him. He took a deep breath, said a few Hail Mary's and barreled in throwing apologies right and left. Normally he'd have waited to get through once the crowd calmed down, but he was in a hurry, he had places to go and a very special person to see and he didn't want to miss any of it.

He felt the elbows jab him and the bags and purses hit his stomach and knees as he went through. It still didn't take the smile from his face, he was too happy to be where he was at. As soon as he found his luggage, he practically ran for the car rental.

Corbin was so glad that he knew his way around the city that he made it to Severem's place in record time. Finding the spare key, he walked in, and took a deep breath feeling as if he'd come home. Everywhere he looked he saw Severem, in the hanging plants in the corner to the dark leathery furniture, to the pictures of different musical instruments and musicians everywhere. The place was neat and clean, it had Severem's personality all over it.

Corbin quickly put his luggage in the spare bedroom, but couldn't help himself; he went into Severem's bedroom and changed there, in his mind he was pretending that he belonged in this bedroom with its huge bed with gossamer curtains over the top and winding ivy all over the frame. For all of Severem's seeming nonchalance about his own person, his personal space was aesthetically designed. And he loved every bit of it.

He quickly showered and dressed in his black tux and looked at the clock in near panic, he had twenty minutes to get to the concert hall and find his seat. He was going to be late. Gritting his teeth he grabbed his keys and ran for the door.

~*~

The musicians had finished warming up, the lights had come down and the concert had begun, and Severem, who had been trying to see Corbin in the audience and failing, closed his mind to the disappointment he found he was feeling, and instead concentrated on the music itself. With an eye on Moriarity and another on the music before him he let himself go to the music his cello and the rest of the symphony created. He really didn't need to pay attention to the music; the notes before him were imprinted within his mind, imprinted in the tips of his fingers and at the end of his bow. All he saw was the images his music conjured up, images of him and Corbin touching, images of desire let loose.

While he played he no longer was aware of himself before an audience. He began to lose himself to his first love, his cello. Making love to the instrument in his hands, the sweet notes that were sung back to him spurred him on.

~*~

Corbin had made it just as the lights came down. Excusing himself he worked his way toward the center seat he'd been given. Sitting down he looked up and spotted Severem right off the bat, feeling his heartbeat pick up pace. He devoured the other man, noticing immediately that the hair was shorter, but oh how good he looked sitting there with that look of concentration on his face. And then the music swept over him, like it always did.

He gasped as he felt it slip into his body, creating heat wherever it touched. There was such passion in Severem's music and he shared it with the world. Corbin wanted to stand up and tell everyone else not to listen, that what they were listening to was all for him greedily, but that would never be fair. The world deserved to have a taste of Severem's music.

Corbin only wished that he could partake of that passion just for himself sometimes.

He'd had a thing for Severem ever since high school, ever since he had found friendship with the other boy, friendship without strings. Severem didn't want anything from Corbin; he simply enjoyed his company for what it was. And Corbin had been enchanted. At first he fought the feelings, dating girl after girl after girl because it just wasn't done in his family, you didn't like other males that way. But he'd gotten into fights over Severem every time he'd heard someone make a disparaging comment. He couldn't stand the thought of others treating his friend like less than who he was.

In college he'd decided to try dating other men as well, to try to exorcize Severem from his system. He'd selfishly been happy that while Severem never looked at him the way he wanted, his friend also never looked at anyone else. He'd purposely told Severem about his dates to see if he could get a reaction. But all Severem's energies went to his music. And there were times when Corbin damned the music, so intensely jealous of the damn cello he could spit.

But when Severem played for him, it was all he could do to keep from feeling whatever Severem wanted him to feel, if the piece was dark and angry then that was what he felt, if the piece was soft and sweet and romantic, then that too was where he was. Severem was a master at making you feel what he wanted you to feel with just that wood and string instrument.

And Corbin loved him for it.

Corbin had come to the conclusion that Severem wasn't a sexual being, and that he'd never have more than the friendship from the other man. He'd become resigned to it in fact, but as long as he could have the man's friendship then he wouldn't complain. He dated both men and woman when someone caught his eye, but he could never commit to anything serious, not while he was still in love with his best friend.

Lately though hope had begun to blossom once again in his chest. Severem seemed to be feeling more than just music. Or so he found himself hoping. Their phone calls lately had a different tone; Severem actually seemed hesitant and was asking things he'd never asked before.

Corbin only hoped that his friend hadn't found someone else. He'd try to be happy for his friend if that were the case, but it'd break his heart.

Something he was afraid he'd never get over.

~*~

Severem nodded and smiled at the many congratulations being thrown his way, listening with half an ear to many people telling him how great he was. He was looking for one particular face, waiting to hear one particular voice as he walked through the crowd of people in the reception area. Moriarity was holding court in the center of the circus with his usual flair and flamboyance. Severem smiled at the older man almost fondly till he felt a hand on his shoulder and a certain anticipatory thrill raced through his system as he recognized the voice speaking to him.

"That, Severem was absolutely brilliant. You amaze me, I had thought when I watched you play two years ago that you were at your peak, and great, but tonight, you nearly had me in tears with that piece you played, It was haunting and beautiful my friend."

Severem turned to Corbin and they hugged one another each holding on just a tad longer than friends normally would. "I wondered if you had made it, I didn't see you before it started and once the lights when down I was to busy concentrating to see if you had shown up."

"Do you think I'd miss this for the world, Severem you soloed, I'd never miss that? You were amazing. But then I always knew you would be," Corbin said almost smugly, one hand on Severem's shoulder still. He was loathe to lose any contact with his friend. And Severem didn't seem to mind the hand.

"I'm glad you were here Corbin, it meant a lot to me to have you here now." Severem's voice dropped an octave, his words colored with more meaning than even he realized. "How was your flight? Did you find the key all right? Have you eaten?" Severem found himself asking all sorts of questions as if to cover the fact that he had given more away in that first sentence and was now trying to recover for it.

Corbin smiled catching the words and feeling that hope of his blossom even more, like a rose in the sunshine it continued to bloom, every word, every look, every smile, he'd never seen his friend smile so much, increased the hope. "The flight was boring and behind schedule as usual and yes I found the key all right, and no I haven't eaten, I thought we could get something to eat on the way back to your place."

That idea was fine with Severem, they did the rounds for a bit more, Severem introducing Corbin to his friends and associates, receiving many looks, some with hints of disappointments, to which Corbin's smile always seemed to grow. And then introducing Corbin to Moriarity himself, the conductor looked Corbin up and down, smiled wryly at Severem and shook his head. "Leave it to him to dash everyone's hopes with someone like you," was all he would say, and Corbin kept his laughter hidden when he saw his friend blush. He'd never ever seen Severem blush, but he couldn't deny the sweetness of the look. It took all his will-power not to reach over and kiss Severem.

After about an hour they got into Corbin's rental and found themselves driving back home with drive through burgers accompanying them. The silence in the vehicle was comfortable with each of them sneaking looks out of the corner of their eyes at the other. Neither of them caught onto the other looking their way.

They each had gotten changed into comfy clothing, both in sweats and tank tops as soon as they'd arrived and now sat on the leather couch eating their food talking about the old days and what new things had been going on in their lives. After they were done, they each sat on the floor with the couch behind them, music playing in the background, drinking beers, when Corbin unable to help himself found himself asking if there was anyone new in Severem's life. He held his breath, his heartbeat stilling, waiting for the answer.

Severem heard the question and nearly laughed, till he realized that Corbin was serious. He could never see Corbin's interest in him, though others could see it plainly so he while he looked the beer in his hands, his fourth, he wondered how to tell Corbin that no it wasn't someone new, it was him. He didn't want to lose his best friend or make things awkward for them in anyway. But he'd come to the realization that he did want to have something more with Corbin.

"Šno, no one new..." Corbin let out the breath that he'd been holding, curious now why Severem seemed so hesitant. "I just... well... I mean..." Severem wanted to growl at himself for sounding so stupid, and then decided, since he had false bravery from the alcohol to simply plunge in and he leaned over and kissed Corbin, though his kiss was a bit sloppy as it was indeed his true first kiss. He'd been kissed before but he'd never participated in them. They'd been from people trying to force their feelings onto him and he'd usually just pushed them away. He'd never initiated a kiss in his life.

Corbin's eyes grew huge when he felt Severem kissing him, but he soon got over his shock and wrapped an arm around Severem's waist pulling him close, glad he'd put his beer down earlier since it left his hands free. He steadied Severem and slowed the kiss, leading by example, moaning softly at how good Severem tasted to him, how right it felt. When he felt Severem's hands on his shoulders, straining to get closer, he let himself fall back with Severem above him, intensifying the kiss.

Severem barely felt the shift in positions, till he felt Corbin's arousal rubbing against his own clothed arousal. He moaned deeply into the kiss, his fingers grasping at the skin beneath his palm, the straps to the tank top pushed aside to feel the heat giving off of Corbin.

Corbin was in seventh heaven, lost in the kiss as he was, his hands were busy removing clothing here and there. This was a dream come true for him, something he'd hoped for but hadn't dared dream for. But he wasn't going to squander this, if it turned out that this was all he'd have then he was going to make the most of it.

Corbin let his lips slide from the kiss, down Severem's jaw and to his throat, while his hands slid up and down the brunette's sides and down his hips, pushing the sweats off, delighted that there was nothing under the sweats except skin. He followed hip bones inward, feeling muscles ripple under his fingers spurring him on. Severem made little whimpery noises that drove him crazy. His hips pushed up against Severem's hitting his hands in the process. Corbin cried out softly at the friction against him and the noises Severem was making. He was glad that he'd never heard these noises from Severem before, or else he'd have been in trouble sooner. They were the sexiest things he'd ever heard. Coming from deep in Severem's throat, needy breathless little whimpers and moans that left him feeling like the sexiest thing alive, knowing it was what he was doing to Severem that provoked these sexy titbits.

Severem couldn't believe how good this all felt to him, and how much he had been missing out it seemed. His own hands roamed over Corbin's, curiosity getting the best of him. Feelings he'd never before experienced, feelings he didn't know he could experience were sliding under his skin, pooling through his veins. Each hushed moan, each whimper, each lick, each kiss only increased it.

Time meant nothing; it had come to a standstill while friends became lovers, that first penetration, that first instant connection overlapping what had been there for years upon years, two pairs of eyes staring as they felt it. They felt themselves becoming one, in perfect accord, in perfect harmony. Slippery bodies continued to glide over one another for what seemed like hours, whispered words given, promises made in the dark of the night. It all carried the dream-like substance. But they were seriously meant.

~*~

Corbin awoke to sun shining in his eyes and he groaned and tried to cover his head with a pillow. He realized he wasn't in his bed, because he never got sunlight in the morning, he'd had his house specifically made so it wouldn't do that. When he heard a soft chuckle next to him he lifted his head from the pillow to squint and look at the body in bed next to him.

Memories of the night assailed him in a quick montage leaving him smiling as he sat up. "I guess it wasn't a dream was it."

"No, no it wasn't. Do you regret it?" came the hesitant reply as if Severem were afraid of the answer. And Corbin couldn't blame him. He was suddenly feeling a little insecure himself.

"No I don't regret it in the least. Severem sweetheart, I've been waiting since high school to have you." Corbin had decided to play all his cards out in the open. This was too important to him not to.

He smiled at seeing the blush on Severem's cheeks, and the smile in the other man's eyes. Severem leaned over and kissed him, which led to other things, and it was several hours later when Corbin sat back up, hair completely disheveled.

"So... when are you going to feed me. I'm starving!"

Severem chuckled wryly, "You have always had the biggest appetite I've ever known."

Corbin wiggled his brows wickedly, "Well like they say, big appetite, big..."

"Ego?"

"HEY!! Feed me Severem, because I'm starving!" Corbin laughed as Severem gave him a disgruntled look and got up from the bed, put a black silk robe on and walked off grumbling about big American jocks always being bossy and always having bottomless pits for stomachs. Corbin lay back down in the bed grinning knowing that all was right in his world now; he'd gotten what he'd most wanted in life, his wonderful Severem. Now all they had to do was figure out who was going to move where.

Getting out of bed, he went and grabbed another robe, this one a white terry cotton one and headed to the kitchen to see if he could help, or rather pester Severem and put his hands on the other man's body.

Oh yes, this was going to be good.

Life was very very good.

Severem was of the same mind as he cooked some scrambled eggs, humming to himself and finding that he was really and truly happy. He felt as if he were complete now. That what had been missing was now found.

Yes indeed life was looking to be very good, now he just had to get Corbin to move here with him.

He smiled wickedly as he realized it was going to be quite a battle and he was looking forward to it.