"Sam?" Aurelian pushed the bedroom door open, looked around. From the light outside he could see Sam curled up under the blanket on the side of the bed closest to the windows. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah."
"How does your hand feel?"
"Still hurts a little. We had a gig day after tomorrow, I had to call Scott and tell him I might not be able to play. He was kinda pissed. Where'd you go?"
"Out. I was hungry."
"Oh."
Sam hadn't turned around or moved at all, and Aurelian changed into his pj's in silence. He pulled the curtains closed without looking at Sam, irrationally afraid of what the boy's expression might be, and then walked around the bed and climbed under the covers himself. He scooted forward, spooned up against Sam's back, wrapped an arm around him.
"It's a nice night out," he said. Sam shrugged.
"I can't do it," he said.
"Can't do what?"
"The blood thing. I can't. I'm sorry. I know you want me to, and... and I want to... do it for you. But I can't. I can't. I'm sorry." His voice dropped so it was nearly inaudible.
"Shh," Aurelian said soothingly. "I said it was ok."
"But I want to. It would make you happy, right? Show you how much...."
"Yes."
"But - blood - cutting myself - what if you can't stop? What if... what if...." He took a deep breath. "What if I don't want you to?"
"What if you don't want me to stop? What if you want me to turn you?" A nod. "Oh, Samuel, it's been known to happen." Aurelian pressed his lips to the back of Sam's shoulder. He could smell warm skin and blood beneath the scents of cotton and detergent and fabric softener. He could hear the beat of Sam's heart, could hear the rush of blood through arteries and veins. He closed his eyes. He was still hungry, and this was getting dangerous.
"It freaks me out," Sam went on. "You said you'd bleed for me too, and what if I like it so much that.... Well, you know. I don't wanna be a vampire, I kinda like being alive."
"You will like it," Aurelian murmured into Sam's t-shirt. That was what HE was afraid of, that he could conceivably turn his human into a blood junkie. And yet, if Sam were to turn around right now, produce a razorblade, and cut across his arm, Aurelian would drink from him, and if Sam were to give him the blade, he'd cut his own arm and offer his own blood.
Dangerous. And so tempting.
"If I were to get a razor from the bathroom," Aurelian began, and this time Sam did turn over.
"Don't," he said softly. His voice trembled. "Please. Don't. Because... I would. I know, I said I can't, I said I was scared, but... I lied. I am scared, but if you asked me... would I... would I let you drink my blood, I would. Because you want me to. Because... because... part of me wants to. Your blood, your life...."
Aurelian wrapped his arms around the boy, pulled him close. "I said I would never hurt you," he murmured. "I would never let any harm come to you, and I would never have you frightened. And I don't ever want you to do anything you think I want you to do, if you wouldn't otherwise want it. Do not ever deny your own misgivings for me. Do you understand?" He leaned back so Sam could see his face. Sam bit his lip thoughtfully, then started wriggling. "What?"
"Just... let go for a minute, ok?" Aurelian loosened his hold and Sam managed to free his arms. He rolled half onto his back, unwrapped the gauze from his hand, and scratched at the cut, which had started to heal, until it began to bleed again. He sucked on his palm, experimentally tasting his own blood, and then held it out to the vampire.
"Take it," he said.
