The Zed Word

"Dude. I'm having a Shaun of the Dead moment." Luke stared out the window of the tiny condo he shared with his boyfriend, looking with disbelief at the very drunk chick who was staggering around on their even tinier patio.

"You mean like as in there's a girl out there?" Tyler asked, coming to stand next to him.

"Uh-huh. What do we do?"

"Well, unless she falls down dead, I don't see why we have to do anything, baby." Ty shrugged, turning away, putting his beer to his lips.

"But she's obviously lost. Or something." Maybe he should call the cops.

"So call the cops."

There. Tyler echoing that thought made it a sensible thought. Luke headed for the phone. He dialed the non-emergency police number, which he knew by heart thanks to all of the shit he put up with at the bar.

They put him on hold.

No one ever put him on hold in Avon, for Christ's sake. Not even the room service at the lodge.

"They put me on hold."

"Yeah?" That seemed to interest Tyler more than the girl wandering around out in the yard. That's weird."

"Uh-huh." Sighing, Luke grabbed a tennis ball off the phone table and started bouncing it on the floor. He was trying to quit smoking, and it helped with the stress. "What if this really is some kind of monkey brain disease? What if you and I are the only ones who aren't zombies?"

"Then we'll be popular menu items." Tyler chuckled. "Besides, this is Colorado. We'd be more like The Stand than a zombie movie."

"Oh, sure. Asshole."

"Avon Police Department. I beg your pardon?"

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