Gangrel Tales: Little Black Bimbo

By Willow Taylor

Now far off in India, there lived a boy named Little Black Sambo - a clever boy, who had, long ago, tricked the hungry tigers into not eating him. I'm sure you've heard the story before. As you'll recall, his father was named Black Jumbo, and his Mother was named Black Mumbo. He also had a sister, who isn't mentioned in any version of the story I've ever heard, and her name was Little Black Bimbo. She was a pretty little child, with long black hair and deep, liquid brown eyes. She aslo had a figure that just wouldn't quit. She wasn't quite as clever as her big brother, but she wasn't a slouch either.

Now it happened that there was a festival comeing up, and in hopes of finding her a good husband, Black Sambo went off to market, and came back with a pretty gold silk Sari, blue leather slippers lined in bright red satin for her pretty little feet, brass bangles for her wrists, hung with tiny bells, and a little green fan to keep her cool.

Little Black Bimbo was quite proud of her finery, and begged her mother to let her wear it right away, instead of waiting for the fesitval. And her mother relented, for surely it would be alright. So Little Black Bimbo was grandly attired as she went off to fetch water from the town well. But as she walked, up came a perverted English officer, and he said "Oh little Black Bimbo, I'm going to eat you up!"

"Oh no," said Little Black Bimbo. "Tell you what, leave me be, and I shall give you my little green fan."

"Oh come now, what will I do with that?"

"Well, you can take it back to the officers' quarters with you, and prance around like a great big poof."

"I suppose." And the officer took her fan, and went off. Taking a good look at himself, he smiled, the fan did make him look smart - and much cooler! "Now I am the finest officer in the raj!" he chortled.

A little further along, there came another perverted English officer, and he said "Oh Little Black Bimbo, I'm going to eat you up!"

"Oh no!" cried Little Black Bimbo. "Please don't eat me up! I will give you my brass bangles with their tiny bells!"

"Come now, girl, what would I do with those?"

"You could put them on in the officers' quarters, and tinkle around like a great big poof."

"Well, I suppose," said the officer, and he took Little Black Bimbo's bangles away, admiring how they shone in the light, and the tiny music the little bells made. "Now I am the finest officer in the raj!" chortled the officer.

Little Black Bimbo was almost to the well now, and was hurrying quite a bit, hoping not to run into another officer, but she did!

"Oh Little Black Bimbo," said the officer, "I'm going to eat you up!"

"Oh please don't eat me up!" cried Little Black Bimbo. "I will give you my little blue leather slippers with bright red linings!"

"What good would they do me, my feet are much too big for them!"

"You could hang them on your balls, and prance around in the officers' quarters like a great big poof."

"That I could!" said the officer, and took away Little Black Bimbo's blue leather slippers with bright red linings. "Now I am the finest officer in the raj!"

Beset with a really ugly mental image, Little Black Bimbo rushed to the well, filled her jug and hurried back to her home as fast as she could - but she wasn't fast enough, for along came another perverted british officer, and he cried out: "Oh Little Black Bimbo, I'm going to eat you up!"

"Oh no," said Little Black Bimbo quite put out. "Please don't eat me up! I'll give you my pretty gold silk Sari!"

"What would I do with that?" asked the officer.

"You could wear it in the officers' quarters, and prance around like a great big poof."

"But it is much too small!"

"You could wear it as a cape - surely you'd look like a king!"

"That I would!" And Little Black Bimbo handed over her sari, leaving her with only her under dress, and her jug of water, as the officer pranced off proclaiming "Now I am the finest officer in the raj!"

Back at the officers' quarters, attired in their stolen finery, the officers pranced around - until they saw each other, eager to show off their things.

"I am the finest officer in the raj!" pronounced the one with the brass bangles.

"No, I am the finest officer in the raj!" argued the one with the Sari across his shoulders.

"No I am the finest officer in the raj!" sniffed the one with the slippers.

"Ha!" cried the one with the fan. "I'm finer than all of you! And cooler!"

It was a grand old cat fight, with their prizes set aside so they mightn't get ruined, as they each proclaimed loudly that they were the finest officer in the raj.

And meanwhile, as the officers argued and argued, Little Black Bimbo had gone home and told her father, Black Jumbo, and her big brother Little Black Sambo (who wasn't as little as he used to be) what had happened. And they put coins in the corners of their sashes and off they went to the officers' quarters. Once they got there, they quietly slipped up and strangled each and every one of the silly vain officers, reclaimed Little Black Bimbo's finery, and while they were at it, made off with any loose change that was lying around. Then they went home and Little Black Bimbo, and her mother, Black Sambo, made their men a real feast.